Long Distance Relationships. . .
I never ever wanted to be in one. Why? because I know I can’t stand to be away from someone that I love and care about for too long. I’m sure like most people, I want to be able to have that physical interaction like cuddling on the couch coming home from work, or being able to threaten to fart on them if they dare change the channel.
I have been in a long distance relationship for SIX YEARS… six at the end of April. I won’t get into the details of it all but I’m sure at some point you will hear about it. What I will share with you is “a month in the life” of being in a LDR.
Current Feelings: Sad, Happy, Lonely, Excited, Lovesick, Impatient, and so so much in love. = Long Distance Relationship Emotional Rollercoaster.
I get asked a lot of questions like “How do you do it?” “Whose going to be the one moving for the other” “Don’t you think it’s a waste of time?” “Maybe you should consider looking for someone closer to you?” “How often do you two see each other?” OR “Your relationship must be so easy because you don’t have to see him that often. You can just do what you want.”
EASY?! The easy part is loving him. The hard part is missing and wishing you could share life moments at a particular time. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s awesome that we are both pursuing what we want in life and have that security and support from one another. HOWEVER, There are moments when I’m so excited about the things that are happening in my life and just want to share them with him like my daily toilet habits, the unnecessary money I spent online, the haircut I gave my dog, the accomplishments my dance students made, or the rash I got from my deodorant.
BUT then I remember that I can’t call him because our work schedules don’t match up, so I’ll have to leave him a voicemail in order for him to hear it, then he will call and leave a voicemail because I will already be sleeping, and then I will wake up listen to the voicemail and rush to work. Then I will try and call him on my lunch break or any break that I have during the day and then SOME NIGHTS we are able to Skype. Skyping usually includes me passing out from exhaustion; mouth open and all.
We see each other at least once a month where we try to cram in every exciting thing we can. And then one of us leaves until we see each other again. It’s like a circle:
We see each other and share moments and memories= Happy, In Love, Ecstatic
One of us leaves to travel back home= Sad possibly crying, still happy because of the times we had
The round robin of our days each day for the first few weeks= Exciting!
Then it starts to hit you hard= Sad, Loneliness
Sometimes it even turns into an argument= frustrated, Impatient, but still happy, but crying sometimes raising voices but laughing at the same time
Then one of us plans to take off work to see one another= HAPPY! Excited, emotional!
The circle continues… so tell me again if this is easy?
“So Jess if this is such an emotional circle and its not easy, why do you do it?”
Well truth be told there is only one answer to that question: ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS… lol that and: LOVE
My boyfriend and I were friends before we ever started dating and I never expected to fall so crazy insane in love. But I should have expected it because he is the most incredible human I have ever met. We balance each other in such a remarkable way both in weirdness and in life and he is the person that I have always been able to rely on (and talk about my daily bowel moment with).
So why would I risk losing this special human to have a mediocre relationship with someone who I could see everyday? I wouldn’t.
Are you hoping I’m going to answer more of the above questions? Well I can tell you that we don’t know when we will get to be together everyday, but I do know that we both know when the time comes this will all be worth it. The tears, the laughing, the annoying, the pestering, the confusing tears because you don’t know if you’re sad or happy. All of it. It’s the same at a non-long distance relationship except we have the pleasure of not seeing each other everyday 🙂 (joking obviously)
The things I have learned from being in a LDR and the advice that I would give anyone in a relationship right now whether its an intimate, friendship, serious or not so serious one, is to not take your time for granted.Cherish the moments you have and plan to make more. When you love, love your damn hardest!
with all of my love,